Sir Gwaine and the Green Knight
by jkwwriter
Summary: "I've come to test your court, King Arthur. Your knights are revered as heroes, your people as faithful, your queen as strong, and your sorcerer as devoted." Gwaine sets out on a quest in which his death is certain. Accompanied by Merlin and Arthur, the trio is tested on their strength, courage, and magic. Based on 'Sir Gawain and the Green Knight'.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: First fanfiction! Never intended to write fanfiction, and certainly did not intend for my first attempt to be this big of a project, but these things happen. I'm really trying to improve my writing and editing skills, so constructive criticism is encouraged. Thanks for reading!**

 **This story is based on a translation of 'Sir Gawain and the Green Knight', but more focused on Gwaine, Arthur, and Merlin as a team, rather than only Gwaine, and takes place after season 4**

 **I don't own BBC Merlin, nor do I own the story of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight.**

* * *

The halls were filled with the castle staff bustling around preparing for the feast. The Grand Hall needed decorating, visiting Lords and Ladies needed clothing, and grand spread of food needed preparing. A young servant boy ran down the halls, squeezing through people and nudging them aside where he could, nearly plowing over a maid carrying fresh laundry. Finally, he came upon the hallway to the royal chambers: deserted. No servants were bustling through that hall in particular to help the king dress and prepare even though the hour of feasting drew near. That is, none until the young servant sprinted his way down the empty hall to the king's chambers. He burst through the entry, smacking the door against the wall with an obtrusive and unpleasant bang. The servant looked around for his master, panting. When he saw the room was empty, he nearly heaved a sigh of relief. _Perhaps even Arthur was running late_.

" _MERLIN_!" Arthur yelled from behind the changing screen, dashing the servant's hopes. "You idiot! Where have you been? The New Years' feast is going beginning soon and the king can't show up late!"

"Sorry Sire!" Merlin made his way across the room, cheeks scarlet not only from the run. "I forgot that I had left your ceremonial sword in the armory for polishing, and then Sarah needed help carrying Gwen's gown up from the royal seamstress' room to her chambers, that thing ways a ton with all that fabric and those decorative beads, and then I heard an awful smashing noise coming from the kitchens and–"

"Don't be ridiculous Merlin, just get me dressed before you make me any later than I already am."

"You know, if his royal highness knew how to properly dress himself then this sort of situation wouldn't happen"

A heavy fabric was thrown out forcefully from behind the changing screen, somehow expertly landing on Merlin's approaching head.

* * *

The most beautiful ladies of the land, and the most handsome lords gathered in the Grand Hall at Camelot to revel in the spirit of the New Year. They talked, laughed, and often snuck off to the farthest and emptiest reaches of the castle in pairs. They danced for hours, ate, sang, and drank in their revelries, when finally the main dinner was served. Arthur refused to eat until everyone in the hall was served, an annoying habit of his, in Merlin's opinion, but a commendable and honorable one in the eyes of others. With the delicious meal completed and the guests itching to begin late night drunken festivities, a toast was in order. Something that never ceased to amaze Merlin was Arthur's ability to silence a room. He rose from his seat, holding a goblet in his hand and almost immediately the crowd hushed and gazed on with admiration and their utmost attention. It was moments like this that Merlin remembered why Arthur was his king. Where Uther's people and crowds were silenced out of fear, Arthur's people were silenced out of devotion and respect.

"To my loyal knights on this fine evening. Your work this year has not been overlooked, I thank you for your bravery and loyalty in the face of danger, and I hope you find the chance to have some fun tonight." He looked at the still-sober knights at the head table, all of those he was closest to. A few chuckles arose when Gwaine smiled and tipped his chair back so it was balancing on two legs, fingers locked in a leisurely pose behind his head.

"To my beautiful wife, I don't know where I would be without you Guinevere, you have brought me the best year of my life. Camelot would have surely perished under my rule if not for you advising my and keeping my head level." A few 'oohs' and 'awes' were mumbled throughout the crowd while Arthur looked at his radiant wife. Merlin swore he saw twinkles in both of their eyes, and rolled his own in an attempt at mocking, but wasn't successful because of the proud smile he wore.

"And to the amazing serving crew who worked tirelessly for weeks to put together all that you see here tonight. Tomorrow you shall all receive a day of rest to spend time with your families." The servants in the room smiled adoringly at their king, then proceeded to exchange their hushed exclaims of excitement amongst each other. Merlin knew he wouldn't be getting the day off tomorrow, the king wouldn't survive without him, after all, how would he dress in the morning? Surely not by himself. The toast was not meant for him but rather the staff that helped prepare for the feast. Arthur was completely unaware that Merlin spent all of his free time in the last few weeks helping preparations in any way he could. The extra work preparing for the holidays coupled with Arthur's increasing demands when put under the stress of the Christmas and New Years' feasts made a very exhausted Merlin.

The crowd began to clap for their king and everyone rose from their seats to show their respect. It was then that the court was most vulnerable. It was then that the Green Knight acted.

The heavy hall doors swung open with a bang, nearly breaking off their hinges when in rode a knight on horseback. The guards inside the door were thrown from their posts while the guards previously sentinels outside scrambled in after the intruder with wide eyes and trembling swords.

The knight and his steed were one of the most peculiar things to arrive in Camelot. The knight wore no armor, no helmet, nor shield, yet he carried the most enormous axe that Merlin had ever seen. He was fully clothed in green. His cloak, trousers, tunic, gloves, and boots all fashioned the same color of deep green. His hair and scruffy beard matched the hue perfectly, and his horse followed suit, its mane and tail also colored the unnatural shade. But probably the most unusual anomaly was the size of the pair. Even Percival would have been dwarfed by the giant knight that stood before him, the horse made those in the royal stables look like ponies.

The lady's and elder lords of the court quickly backed away from their tables, scared and weary towards the foreign man. Knights of every rank tensed and withdrew their swords. Merlin move purposefully closer to Arthur who was now standing, tensed and ready for any kind of attack. He scanned the room until he met Gaius' eyes, ensuring he was a safe distance from the potential threat.

"Where is the noblest of all of this crowd?" The Green Knight's voiced boomed through the hall. "I'd like to speak to him in particular, to exchange some words politely." He made no offensive move.

"Sir, you are welcome to dine and stay with us. I am King Arthur of Camelot, and it would be a pleasure to have you as a guest to our household" Arthur said cautiously and politely, though still palmed the hilt of his sword.

"No thank you sir, I do not intend to stay long. My purpose here will be over soon. The tales of the courage and strength of the Knights of Arthur's Round Table have spread far and wide. Rest assured, I come for peace, not for battle, however I do wish for an exchange."

Merlin saw Arthur hesitate in confusion and sympathized with him. No one had ever seen such a spectacle, no one had ever made such a strange request. _Magic_ Merlin thought, and knew the same word was going through Arthur's head.

"What exactly are the terms of this exchange, sir knight?" Arthur finally continued.

"I come to test your court, King Arthur. Your knights are revered as heroes, your people as faithful, your queen as strong, and your sorcerer as devoted."

"My sorcerer?" Arthur lost his composure in confusion, stumbling through the word and eyes widening. Merlin made a quiet strangled noise of shock behind him.

"This is a challenge, young king." The giant continued, ignoring Arthur's question. "This is a challenge to all who devote themselves to you. A challenge to your knights, your people, your queen, and your Emrys, who each have reputations spread throughout the land. I will give whomever is bravest in your court my axe, and he shall deal me the first blow with no retaliation from me. However my terms dictate that in exactly one year and a day, I am given the chance to return said blow."

The hall fell silent, everyone standing in confusion, and the Green Knight waited, dismounting from his horse.

"No one volunteers themselves as the most courageous knight in the kingdom? Oh how disappointed am I!" the knight paced slowly back and forth. "No worthy knights? Not even Emrys offers himself up to this challenge?" Merlin tensed, his breathing stopped.

"If you want a duel, I will accept your terms" Arthur said powerfully.

"Arthur no, he's magic, it's a trick." Merlin whispered from behind, Arthur heard him and whispered a quick "Shut up, Merlin" without removing his gaze from the Green Monstrosity.

'Oh the strong and courageous King Arthur volunteers himself. I am disappointed though not surprised. Very well, you shall prove your worth instead of that of your people." He said with finality.

Suddenly there was a violent scraping as a chair was shoved back and its front legs slammed towards the ground "This is ridiculous, the king shouldn't have to stoop to this trivial game." An unconcerned Gwaine stood from his disregarded chair "I accept your challenge." And he made his way around the table to face off.

Merlin bit his lip hard, preparing to intervene in any way he could, magically or not. Gwaine's life was not worth him keeping his secret, a lesson he had learned years before with the sacrifice of Lancelot. Arthur nodded his head respectively toward the knight, and the nod was returned.

"A single blow with my axe," The Green Knight repeated, offering his hilt to Gwaine, "And in a year and one day, you will come find me at the Green Chapel, and I will return the blow and you will receive it without fight."

"I will, that is, unless I kill you." Gwaine said, taking the hilt, gripping the heavy weight with both hands.

The Green Knight stood tall, awaiting. Gwaine looked at the axe in his hands then looked at the Green Knight, and hesitated. All of a sudden he reared back, a snarl on his face. His arm swung true and sliced right through the Green Knight's neck. The giant's head fell clean off his body, falling to the floor with a thump. Everyone waited with baited breath for the body to fall with it, but it never did. It just stood still, unmoving. Gwen gasped and gripped Arthur's arm beside her when the body suddenly moved. It was not falling to the ground in death however, it was reaching down as if still alive to pick up its own head. Gwaine cautiously moved back as the headless knight straightened himself. Merlin tensed, suddenly sensing a magic in the room that could rival Morgana's or even his own. The Green Knight's hands turned his head toward Gwaine and everyone in the room gasped when they saw that his eyes were still open.

"I will see you in one year and a day sir Gwaine." And with that the Knight expertly mounted his horse with his own severed head tucked between his side and his arm. Him and his horse turned toward the door and barreled through the half-hearted attempts made by the guards to keep him from leaving.

As soon as the door slammed shut, Arthur jumped into action. "Leon, gather a squadron of knights and follow him, now." Leon hastily and expertly followed the orders, each and every round table night springing to action. Arthur turned toward Guinevere next and with a quiet voice, ensured she was alright, taking her face into his hands and looking for any sign of panic in her eyes. She unexpectedly swatted his hands away.

"Arthur I'm fine, it was a bit of a fright but you have more important things to take care of." They shared a look of understanding, a look that anyone with a responsibility to others would understand.

Arthur then turned to Merlin. "Feast is over, make sure everyone remains calm and gets safely back to their rooms." Merlin nodded and got to work, pausing only for a moment to see Arthur approach a stone still Gwaine holding the axe, and put his hand on his shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2

After the feast was hastily finished and the lords and ladies sent to their rooms by a reassuring Merlin and Gwen, Arthur found himself in his chambers after midnight awaiting the remaining members of the Round Table. He stood, leaning against his desk with his legs crossed in front of him, face in contemplation. A casual pose strategically adopted to calm the other participants in the room, to reassure them that there was no immediate danger. Gwen sat up straight at the edge of the bed, hands in her lap, a pillar of calmness.

Merlin, however, paced rather irritatingly across the room, babbling out worries and nonsense.

"...and did you see how huge he was? He could have easily lifted Percival off of his feet, I've never seen anyone that big in my entire life, he must have been using some sort of m-magic..."

Merlin's stumble and hesitation on the word wasn't missed by Arthur. Arthur could never quite understand Merlin's absolute fear of anything magical. Whenever the word was so much as mentioned, it looked like all of the muscles in Merlin's body clenched in fear at the same time, a comical sight. Not to mention Merlin's frequent disappearances when Arthur battled magical creatures, and how he always begged Arthur to give up and go home when even the potential of a magical encounter was present on quests. As far as Arthur could tell, Merlin feared a simple sorcerer more than an invading army.

"...and where are the knights anyways?" Merlin seemed to have underwent a topic change while Arthur was thinking, "they should really be back by now, how hard could it be to track a big guy like that, he and his horse must be leaving massive footprints in the snow and broken trees in their path, what if he decided to go back on his promise and just kill them all right now?"

Just as Arthur was about to interrupt Merlin for being so brutal and pessimistic, Gwaine strode through his chamber doors followed by Leon, Elyan, and Percival, all taking their places forming a standing circle.

"Report–"

"What happened?" Arthur glared as he was interrupted by a frantic Merlin.

"It's like he vanished the moment he left the hall" Leon sighed, running a hand through his curly hair "We split up, covered as much of the lower town as possible and branched out into the surrounding woods but honestly, there was nothing to track, and nobody we talked to in the lower town had even seen him. It was like he was never here."

"This begs to differ." Gwaine scoffed, still holding the bloody axe in both hands.

"Oh Gwaine" Gwen said compassionately, holding a hand against her heart.

"So you're telling me that we have nothing to go on? No leads at all?"

"I'm sorry sire," Leon replied hesitantly.

The room was silent while Arthur stood in contemplation. If the knight has simply vanished without a trace, there was quite honestly nothing that they could do. Combing the forests surrounding Camelot would be utterly useless. The man possessed some sort of magic quite obviously, if he wanted to remain hidden, then he would do so. He looked up at Gwaine and made eye contact, and suddenly both men knew exactly what needed to be done.

"Then I suppose we must wait." Arthur concluded resignedly.

"I'm sorry, what?" Merlin bolted upright from his position leaning against a pillar. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Merlin there's nothing else to do, he's gone." Gwaine tried to reassure but it came out flatter then intended. "We'll have to deal with this come next year."

"I have already spoken to Gaius and he has assured me that he has never heard of this Green Knight, nor the Green Chapel that he spoke of." Arthur interjected when he saw that Merlin was about to argue. "Now unless you and Gaius can find any information that could be of use, there's nothing we can do." He concluded, somewhat forcefully. "It would be best if everyone got at least some rest tonight, meeting adjourned."

The knights bowed their heads and started filing out of the room. Arthur instructed Gwaine to deliver the bloody weapon to Geoffrey to be put under lock and key within the vaults.

"I don't want to hear it, Merlin." Arthur said, as always knowing exactly when Merlin was about to interject with his opinion. "Get to bed, and be sure to wake me early tomorrow. No one died, and no one is injured. We must consider that a success for the time being."

Arthur watched as Merlin angrily clamped his mouth shut and somewhat stomped towards the door before turning on his heel and saying "Will that be all, My Lord?" as curtly as possible. Arthur returned with a stern look, and waved him out.

The chamber doors closed with a slam.

* * *

The next morning, Merlin ate breakfast with Gaius, relating the tale of the midnight round table meeting while his bowl of porridge slowly transformed into cold goop.

"And then he just decided that we weren't going to do anything about it. Just lie in wait while in a years' time, Gwaine..." Merlin trailed off, looking at his bowl and absentmindedly stirring his spoon.

"We'll have to start the New Year off with extensive research on this Green Knight, now won't we?" Gaius replied.

"He didn't even listen to me! He never does, all he cares about is what he thinks is best. Every time I tried to interject, he stopped me and chastised me. And this isn't the first time he has dismissed me in situations like this. The clotpole can't run a good and fair kingdom if he only listens to himself."

"And what exactly would you have suggested? It seems to me that Arthur did listen to other opinions, and that the knights and Gwaine were in agreeance." Gaius sipped at his morning tea. "Quite honestly, it seems like research and time are our only options, and if you have an alternative route, then I know you will execute it with or without Arthur's permission, or my permission. So, do you in fact have another plan?"

Merlin scowled into his bowl of porridge, and a long silence that lasted the rest of the morning followed. The question was left hanging as Merlin packed his bag for the day and put on his coat while Gaius began brewing medicinal elixirs and healing potions. The silence was only broken when Merlin reached the door to leave, and turned back to Gaius.

"I don't like leaving Gwaine's fate up in the air like this. I wish I could have done something to prevent this." He said softly. Both men recognized that Merlin was thinking of the late Lancelot, and how Merlin blamed no one but himself for the death of the noble knight. How he prayed that he could interject before Gwaine suffered the same fate.

"I know, my boy" Gaius softened, "But Arthur is a man of action, if there was something, anything, that he could be doing, you know that he would be."

Merlin nodded and left.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I figure I have enough written that I _should_ be able to publish a chapter a day, if not then _almost_ every day. I hope someone else has read the book version of _Sir Gawain and the Green Knight_ and can appreciate the little details I'm including :) Anyways I hope you like this chapter, and once again constructive criticism is welcome!**

* * *

Gossip filtered down through the nobility and servants to those who weren't able to attend, and quickly spread to the lower town. Everyone in Camelot was discussing the brave Sir Gwaine, how sad it was that they were to lose such a brave knight, how such talent is being killed out of pride. "I'm not dead yet." Gwaine would drunkenly snap to quiet hushed voices looking at him with such sad eyes at the Prancing Pony Tavern. When they thought that Gwaine was not around, other knights would lament about how he had such potential to be a good leader. But as the winter passed and the New Year began, the gossip faded into old news, the people no longer interested in a stale tale without new development. Lack of any new leads or information on the mysterious villain lead to the official resignation of Gaius and Merlin in their frantic studies, though both were known to scan every new text they encountered for any information.

As for Gwaine, the evening soon faded from his mind as well, or so it seemed to others. He never mentioned it, or particularly wanted to talk about it, but if he drank a few more pints of ale than usual and was more boisterous and loud in an attempt to distract himself from such thoughts of doom, no one had noticed except those closest to him. Even they were wise enough not to point out any difference in behavior. Merlin had once commented on his extra drinking in an attempt to pry Gwaine out of his own head and talk about it. Gwaine had practically bitten his head off, insisting that he was fine, and that everyone should mind their own business. Without reply, Merlin walked out with glassy eyes, leaving Gwaine feeling guilty about treating Merlin, of all people, so rudely.

Later that night, the Gwaine found Merlin shining Arthur's boots in the armories. He sat down next to his friend, picked up a rag and the started working on the other boot. With an apologetic smile and a hair ruffle, the altercation was forgotten.

And so by the time the snow thawed and winter made way for spring, the inevitable doom of Sir Gwaine wasn't mentioned.

Soon spring was overwhelmed by the heat of summer, and summer by the cold bite of autumn. The year was filled with its own challenges, magical beasts, and peace treaties as Arthur attempted to strengthen his fine kingdom. Merlin never stopped grieving for Gwaine's fate, but such thoughts were frequently pushed aside when dealing with assassination attempts and potential threats to the kingdom.

But soon enough, the matter could no longer be ignored. The round table knights grew as fidgety and worried as Gwaine had been keeping inside all year. When Gwaine walked into the armory filled with his comrades and the room went silent in premature mourning, that was when he announced that his plan was to leave for the Green Chapel the morning after Christmas day.

Instead of the usual grand event that was Christmas dinner in Camelot, a private feast was held, only for round table members. They sat at a round table, the symbol on which Arthur's rule was founded. Arthur sat with Gwen on his right and Gwaine on his left. Usually on occasions when only the round table gathered for celebration, Merlin would be in a serving role, standing behind Arthur, but the pretense was often dropped early on in the dinner when Merlin was included in the conversation yet had to remain standing. Someone would usually roll their eyes at the ridiculous idea that Merlin was serving them, and invite the servant to find a chair and grab a plate. Though Arthur pretended to be annoyed at Merlin for ignoring his station, everyone in the room knew that he loved Merlin's place as a member of the group instead of an observing servant. He was proud of his knights when they treated those in lesser positions like they belong. It warmed Arthur's heart when the knights started bringing an extra chair to the dinners, knowing that one wouldn't be provided for Merlin. Tonight, however, there was already one provided, as Merlin was to sit next to Gwaine. Gaius sat beside Merlin, and the three other knights that had become like brothers filled the rest of the seats. The group enjoyed their revelries by telling stories of their drunken knight even with the oppressing gloom a constant background noise.

As the feast drew to a close, Merlin snuck out to the adjoining room, returning with a large bundle covered with a signature red cloak of Camelot. When Arthur motioned him forward, he set the bundle down on the recently cleared table in front of Gwaine, who looked confused.

"Such a noble quest requires a noble piece of armor." Arthur clarified, "Sir Gwaine, please accept this gift from your friends and wear it on your quest tomorrow."

Gwaine hesitantly lifted the heavy weight cloak before him, feeling its extra thick material perfect for riding in colder weather. Underneath the cloak was the most beautiful breastplate he had ever seen in his life. It was completely covered gold, a simple yet elegant design covered the metal. He lifted it, feeling that it wasn't so heavy as to limit his movement or tire him out, yet wasn't so light that it wouldn't protect him should he be struck. The light from the many candles placed around the room simply glimmered in the beautiful piece. When placed beside his new vibrant cloak, he noticed the gold perfectly complemented the dragon on his crest.

Gwain felt a lump in his throat and finally looked up to his spectators. "This is far too much, I can't accept this."

"Don't be foolish, Gwaine," Arthur said, "you have been of service to your king and kingdom for quite some years now, you have proved your worth and standing as a knight, accepted into the closest circle to the king, and now you have shown more sense of loyalty and nobility than most of the knights I've ever met in my lifetime, and I have met many, crossing generations and kingdoms. Baring that in mind, this is not only a gift from your king, Gwaine, but each and every one of these people sitting at the table before you had some sort of contribution. This is a gift from your friends, and I insist that you receive it."

Gwaine nearly felt tears in his eyes form. How could he possibly argue with that? The lump in his throat nearly obstructed his quiet words of gratitude. "Thank you, I value each and every one here as I have never valued anyone before."

Gwen was unabashedly crying across the table, Merlin beside him was looking up and blinking, trying to get the tears out of his eyes before Arthur said something to make fun of him. Gwaine, had to lighten the mood somehow.

"Oh Merlin my friend, you're not fooling anyone." He said which caused the weight of tension and sadness to virtually snap as everyone burst out laughing, Merlin included.

* * *

The next morning, Gwaine awoke in his chambers hours before dawn, wanting to leave without any sappy goodbyes. It was so early that not even the earliest of risers or farmers had awoken yet. Goodbyes had been done the previous night, in his opinion. He dressed himself in his new armor and cape, and set out of the knight's chambers quietly, making his way to the stables.

He saddled his horse in the dark and cold morning air, strapping his pack on and securing the huge axe that would be used to kill him very soon. Nearly ready to leave, he hesitated. He had said his goodbyes to everyone the night before, he wanted no sort of fanfare, crying, or drama this morning. He hung his head, thinking of Merlin still sleeping in his bed. He almost turned around with a wild plan of sneaking into Merlin's chambers and waking him up to say goodbye. As his best friend, Merlin deserved more than Gwaine's ugly disappearance. After moments of contemplation, Gwaine decided against it, thinking it would be better for Merlin this way, no sense in prolonging Merlin's grieving process. Besides, he was losing the morning, soon the townspeople would be awake to start their early morning chores, and, if spotted, he would never get away in silence.

Gwaine led his horse out of the stables and through the lower town, his loneliness a heavy weight on his shoulders as it started to snow lazily. In the distance he saw the dark shapes of the gate keeping guards, the sentinels leading to the forest beyond. Except... he thought saw the silhouettes of horses. That was strange enough, the guards usually didn't possess horses, for they had no need.

His confusion only grew as he approached the gates, until he finally made out the silhouettes of a less than regal king swatting his shivering servant across the head.

Just then, Arthur noticed Gwaine's approach.

"Nice of you to finally join us Sir Gwaine. We were beginning to think you changed your mind."

Gwaine's confusion only grew from there. "Arthur, Merlin, what are you doing here?"

"We've been waiting for you. I didn't think you'd want to leave this early, but his royal pratness insisted we beat you to the punch. Meaning we had to stand out here in this ridiculous cold at this unruly hour."

"Well we should be off before the whole city wakes up" Arthur mounted his horse.

"There must be some miscommunication." Gwaine finally caught on. "I'm completing this quest alone. I don't need anyone by my side."

"We thought that you could use some back up." Merlin pipped in.

"Absolutely not, I don't want to put either of you in danger. I started this so I have to finish it." Gwaine said.

"Gwaine," Arthur softened, "it is my duty as king to protect my knights."

"Yes and it is my duty to ensure my king isn't killed by a big green idiot, now turn around and go back to bed."

"Please," Merlin caught Gwaine's attention, looking at him with wide eyes and a hurt expression. "You would leave before dawn, without warning me, without saying goodbye. I don't deserve that Gwaine."

He was slowly breaking down Gwaine's barriers, making him pliable.

"After the Perilous Lands? And when Gaius was taken? Do you not trust me by your side as I have trusted you?"

"Fine!" Gwaine threw his hands into the air, completely at Merlin's mercy. "Very well, you two can come with me, but you better not get yourselves hurt along the way."

"You're both idiots." Arthur smiled.

"Yeah I know," Gwaine smiled back and mounted his horse. "Well, what are we waiting for boys? Let's get go find that ugly green mug."

 _Do you not trust me by your side as I have trusted you?_ Merlin's words from moments before echoed in Gwaine's head. No, Merlin did not in fact completely trust Gwaine. In fact, Merlin did not yet trust Gwaine with his biggest secret, but he would someday. For now, Gwaine was fine with Merlin's secrecy. He knew there would come a day when Merlin would reveal his secret to Gwaine, and Gwaine couldn't decide if he wanted to quietly tell Merlin that he could be trusted, or if he wanted to smack the sorcerer over the head and admit that he knew the whole time.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I got my first ever review on the last chapter! Thank you so much, your words were so kind and made me smile for the whole day! There might not be a chapter on Saturday, I don't think I'll have internet, but I'll make sure to post Sunday! Enjoy :)**

* * *

"Gwaine, do you even know where we're going?" Merlin asked after only an hour of riding. Arthur had been wondering the same thing for quite some time now. They were travelling north of the city, towards the Darkling Woods. The sun was finally starting to rise, the harsh bite of the winter night air was slowly ebbing.

"Of course I do, Merlin."

"Are you sure? Because Gaius and I searched books and documents for months and found no record of a Green Chapel, and the knight never said anything about how to find it. But somehow you seem to know of it?"

"Such is living life on the road, Merlin. Not everything can be learned from your books."

Arthur scoffed intentionally loud enough to be heard. "So you've seen it in your travels?"

"Not exactly," Gwaine said, ignoring Arthur. "I just seem to know where to go. I think it's some sort of magic telling me how to get there. Either that or traveler's instinct." He joked.

"Magic?" Suddenly Arthur wasn't so calm.

"Yes. What are you going to do, behead me? Get in line."

"You're not using it yourself, right? You think the Green Knight is using magic to show you the way?" Merlin asked, trying to ignore Gwaine's brutal phrasing.

"It must be something like that."

 _Merlin never thinks straight when magic is mentioned_ , Arthur thought. Did he really consider that Gwaine of all people was using magic? If he was, it would be quite comical to see how fast Merlin would run for the hills. No, that wasn't right. As much as Arthur liked to make fun of Merlin, he knew that the servant was better than that, and even felt guilty for having the thought. Merlin would stay loyal to Gwaine no matter what, that's just how the boy was. Once earned, it seemed to be that one could not be rid of Merlin's devotion and loyalty.

That day passed as they made their way through the Darkling Woods, setting up camp in a small clearing. There was no more mentions of magic, and the topic of direction was seemingly forgotten. Arthur found himself thinking in his bedroll that night, that despite the grimness of their destination, he found that he was actually enjoying himself with the companionship of Merlin and Gwaine. They had a sort of ease about them that he did not have with all the other knights around. There was no need for propriety, and even if there was, Merlin and Gwaine would reject it instantly. Arthur was reminded of their quest to the perilous lands, and though he absolutely loathed their company at the time, he wished that he had taken more quests with his affectionate servant and his wayward knight while they still had the time.

Arthur scolded himself for thinking that. Gwaine wasn't going to die on this trip. He didn't know how he would do it, but somehow he was planning on making a deal with the Green Knight. Perhaps he would offer gold or land. It didn't matter, Arthur thought, rolling over in his bedroll, because Arthur was prepared to offer his life.

* * *

The next evening after a day of travel, the sun was fading quickly and the temperature falling steadily, so the trio had gathered around a fire to eat dinner.

After a year of thinking about it, Arthur was running out of time. He could no longer contain his thoughts, and needed to tell Gwaine the truth.

"The test was meant for me. You shouldn't have had to take up the challenge like you did." He said after nearly a full year of working up the courage.

"Arthur, don't be ridiculous. The Green Knight said that he was issuing a challenge to your knights. He never said anything about you." Gwaine said.

"I know, I remember quite well. He said that he was testing my knights, my people, my queen, and my sorcerer. He wasn't though, he was goading me. He was testing my ability to rule these people, and I failed. I should have insisted that I accept the challenge. If only I had known it was a trick and that he was not mere mortal."

"Arthur," Merlin joined in, "you were always destined to be the greatest king that Camelot has ever known. You are fair and kind to your people, you have brought the kingdom into a new prosperity that has never been seen before. To have lost you in a duel with the knight would be a devastating loss to Camelot, one which I think she would not survive. You have already proven yourself." Merlin's tone had slowly gone soft and serious as Arthur noticed it occasionally did. The boy was staring into the fire as if he didn't realize he was speaking out loud. It was these rare occasions in which Merlin seemed to show a completely alternate side from the usual clumsy servant. And on these rare occasions, what Merlin says usually has the habit of worming its way into Arthur's mind until he realizes that Merlin is right. But not this time, Arthur had a year to convince himself otherwise.

"Merlin, you're wrong. I'm not the Once and Future King." This seemed to grab both of the men's attention, and Merlin looked up sharply into Arthur's eyes from across the fire.

"My Sorcerer." It was Arthur's turn to speak contemplatively into the flames, avoiding eye contact. "The Knight spoke of two things which I could not understand. He mentioned a devoted sorcerer, and the name Emrys. I spent hours and hours in the library, going through texts I'm not even sure it's legal for us to have, they were so magically themed. I finally found one in the vaults that gave me an idea. It wasn't a spell book but it must have resembled one too closely for my father's comfort. In it, there was some sort of prophecy of a powerful sorcerer name Emrys, who would protect and serve someone called the Once and Future King. This king's prophecy was connected with that of the sorcerer's, the two are destined to unite the lands of Albion." Arthur looked up into Merlin's eyes and saw that he was pale and very nearly shaking. _Of course the story would scare him_ , Arthur thought shamefully and tried to finish quickly, returning his gaze downward, "Anyways, obviously such a sorcerer doesn't serve me. Why would he? I've killed more of his kind than I can even count. I've never seen or met anyone named Emrys, and even if he did exist and live in Camelot, we wouldn't be in this position because he would have killed the Green Knight. So if Emrys serves the Once and Future King, and Emrys doesn't serve me, obviously I am not worthy of the title. The Green Knight was testing to see if I was his prophesied king, and I failed."

* * *

The sun had completely receded behind the trees and the camp was bathed in a dark blue hue mixed with the flickering oranges of the fire. Merlin could not believe what he had just heard. Arthur's mention of Emrys and the Once and Future King nearly stopped Merlin's heart, _he had even read the prophecies? Merlin hadn't even read the actual prophecy himself._ He was speaking so cryptically and cynically, Merlin's mind tricked him into thinking that Arthur had caught on to his secret and was about to reveal so. But as the king continued, he realized what was being said and instead became infinitely sad. _Obviously not The Once and Future King_? Merlin's heart nearly shattered. Right then, he had never wanted to tell Arthur his secret more. He wanted to tell him that _of course_ he was worthy of such a title, that there was no one who had ever lived or would ever come after, that Emrys would serve more willingly.

Then Merlin realized what Arthur had unknowingly implied. Arthur thought that if Emrys existed, he should have stepped in and saved everyone from the knight. It's not like he couldn't do it, the knight's power was strong but with complete focus Merlin knew that he could have defeated him. Gwaine wasn't supposed to be the one on death row. Perhaps the Green Knight was testing Emrys instead. It was Emrys' responsibility to protect his king and the people of Camelot and he had failed. What did that mean for the future of Albion?

None of the men had said anything for a long time, preferring to stare into the fire, lost in their own thoughts. Neither Merlin nor Gwaine had voiced their opinion on Arthur's theory.

"Emrys, eh?" Gwaine said suddenly, pointedly making eye contact with Merlin, eyebrows raised and holding his gaze long enough to make a statement. Merlin looked back, confused. _Gwaine, what is that supposed to mean?_ Merlin thought, watching as the knight finally broke eye contact, turned to Arthur and said "Princess, that sounds like a load of bullshit." Gwaine smirked and retired to his bedroll, leaving both Merlin and Arthur confused.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Almost didn't make the deadline I promised, I've had such a busy weekend :P But anyway thanks for the reviews and favorites, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Merlin had barely slept all night, his mind had been running so much. He still had no clue how he was going to secretly knock out or distract both Arthur and Gwaine while he battled the Green Knight, and he hadn't figured out a believable explanation, because he didn't think 'You defeated him, then you were hit over the head.' would work this time. Of course Merlin hadn't been overly worried about Gwaine's fate in this quest, not since he resolved himself to facing the giant himself months ago.

But on top of all this, Merlin now had to worry about his secret. Now that Arthur knew about Emrys and the prophecy, he would be looking for magic everywhere. He would be extra vigilant, and Merlin's whole secret arrangement hinged on Arthur's cluelessness. Even if the king doubted his title as character of prophecy, it would bother him enough that he would always have the thought on his mind, _what if,_ making him so much more dangerous to Merlin.

Merlin couldn't help but wonder what Arthur's opinions on Emrys were. He hadn't scoffed, flinched, snarled, clenched, or even taken a harsh tone when speaking about the hypothetical wizard. Was he not as disgusted by the idea of a sorcerer companion as he would have been simply a few years ago? Was Merlin making any progress on changing the young king's view of magic? And if so, would he be able to tell Arthur without worry of persecution? Although, even if Arthur accepted magic, it would be near impossible to excuse Merlin for the years of lying and hiding he had done. Merlin was losing faith in ever showing his true self to Arthur. So engulfed in these worried thoughts, Merlin hadn't noticed the low hanging branch before him and did not steer his horse away. In effect, the branch ended up swatting Merlin head on.

Arthur and Gwaine, who had been trying to warn him of the approaching branch burst out laughing when the thick coating of snow that had been covering it, was dumped all over Merlin's face and chest. Merlin tried shaking it out for a moment, but suddenly the icy cold hit him like a brick. A sizable amount of the snow had slid down inside of his shirt around his neckline, an incredible cold biting at the bare skin all over his chest. He let out a short yelp, frantically squirming in his saddle trying to remove the snow from his tunic, and a "shut up Arth-ahh!" before he slid off the horse, hitting the snow covered ground with a muted thud.

Arthur and Gwaine were laughing hysterically by this point and were nearly dethroned, themselves. Merlin hastily stood, shaking out his clothing of the vile chill, and eventually remounted his horse. It was quite some time before the grotesque impressions and tears of laughter had dried up to soft chuckles.

"Oh, what esteemed and noble knights you are, laughing at a struggling servant." Merlin scowled.

"This whole quest is a demonstration of my nobility, Merlin." Gwaine countered, "A brave knight such as myself standing up for princess over there and taking on a deadly challenge? What could be nobler?"

"Ah you're a modest one too!" Merlin sarcastically ribbed.

"Why did you take my place, Gwaine?" Arthur suddenly got serious, a thing he had been in the habit of doing recently.

Gwaine let out a long sigh, looking as if he were contemplating the truth. "When I was a young boy, I hated nobility. They were all scum to me, thieving, lying, and selfish scum."

"Tell me how you really feel."

"Let me finish. I hated the title of noble, but I truly did love the idea of nobility the virtue. I idolized my father for being the noblest man in the world, even though I never knew him, the stories my mother would tell…" He trailed off.

Was Gwaine going to tell Arthur about his lineage? Merlin wondered

"What did your father do to earn such respect?" Arthur asked.

Gwaine turned to him, "He was a knight in Caerleon's army."

Arthur was left speechless

"He died in battle, and his death left my mother without an income and she slowly went broke. There was nothing she could do but go to the king and beg for aid. My father was an esteemed knight who fought for his kingdom with valour, the king should have provided compensation for his loss." Gwaine trailed off for a moment. "But he turned her away. Left her broke with baby to find her own way in a working class world which she had never known. She learned to sew and worked as a seamstress, and I learned to fight when I grew older. We made our way through the world, but had the king helped us, I might have been able to afford medicine for her when she fell ill."

"I'm so sorry, Gwaine, I had no idea, I thought you were born of common blood."

"I hate nobles, with all my heart. And that is why I would die in your place, Arthur."

"I'm... Not following."

"Despite what you said last night, you are a good king. Nobility is defined by what you do, not who you are. My father died for a wretched king, it would be an honor to me and my father should I die for a glorious one."

"Gwaine, I don't know what to say... Thank you."

"Don't thank me, thank Merlin."

"Me? Why me?" Merlin had been lost in admiring their close conversation.

"Because Merlin has more faith in you than anyone I know. He's the one who convinced me that you weren't all that bad, on many occasions."

"Merlin said that? I don't know, Gwaine. It sure doesn't sound like the Merlin I know." Arthur teased, easing the tension and heaviness of the conversation.

"I agree with the clotpole, I don't remember ever having such a conversation."

* * *

The next morning Merlin awoke with a start. Gwaine's fists were braced around his forearms, shaking him lightly. Merlin felt hot, too hot. His lower body felt constricted, as if he were suffocating in his bedroll. He felt sweat dripping down his neck and his heart was beating quickly in his chest. He relaxed his hands, which he had suddenly realized were aching from being clenched into fists.

"Wha-what happened?" He said, clearing the hoarseness from his voice.

"You tell us, mate. We were sleeping when we heard you rusting around, then you yelled Arthur's name so I was trying to shake you awake. Did you have a nightmare?" Gwaine relaxed his muscles seeing that Merlin was doing the same.

Merlin slowly sat up, feeling the chill of the cold winter morning on his sweaty back. He looked up at the sky, still quite dark. It might've been a few hours before they would usually rise. "Yeah, I think I got too hot in my bedroll and it gave me a nightmare. Sorry for waking you."

"Worry not, Merlin. We'll just get a head start on our day." Gwaine cheerily moved over to tend to the fire.

The space gave Merlin the time to think about the nightmare, unaware of the puzzled look that Arthur was giving him.

 _He couldn't make out where he was, the dream was too dark and foggy, but wherever it was, it was scorching hot. The Green Knight towered before him, holding the axe that Merlin had seen strapped to Gwaine's horse the past few days. "I've come to challenge your sorcerer." He said, and all of a sudden Merlin realized that they stood in the Grand Hall where the knight had first shown up._

" _You will lose," Merlin whipped his head to his right, seeing Arthur facing the giant before them. "My sorcerer is mightier and more loyal than all in the land."_

" _Very well then, he will step forward, or you will perish."_

 _Time went almost too slowly for Merlin, he didn't understand what was going on. The Green Knight made his way towards Arthur, walking as if through water. Merlin knew he had to protect Arthur, but how could he possibly do such a thing without revealing his magic? Arthur can't know, Arthur can't know. His mind repeated over and over. It felt like moths were fluttering around in his head, and his surroundings grew foggy again, and he found that he couldn't think straight at all. Suddenly everything came into focus, and there wasn't any time left. The axe was swinging down to Arthurs bowed head, and all Merlin remembered was screaming._

"What was the dream about?" Arthur asked.

"Oh, I don't quite remember exactly."

"Merlin you can tell us, we won't make fun of you for having fear." Gwaine urged.

"It was nothing, just a little nightmare, forget about it." Merlin snapped back, regretting it almost instantly as Gwaine's face fell and Arthur looked disappointed in him. Both men had opened up to him on this journey, the least he could do is reciprocate as long as he didn't reveal anything.

After too long of a silence, Merlin said. "You died, Arthur. And I felt responsible for it."

"Why would you possibly feel responsible? What happened?" Arthur was confused.

"You were in trouble, and I didn't save you, even though I could have. I hesitated because I was scared, and you died and it was _all my fault_." Merlin was starting to get emotional, he was biting his lip and fidgeting with his hands.

"Merlin," Arthur said, Gwaine had seemed to recognize the private moment between king and servant, and backed off a bit. "That's not your job, you know that right?" His voice was soft, not condescending or flippant. "You shouldn't have feel responsible for my life, or anyone's life for that matter."

This sparked a flame in Merlin which grew to a blaze of words, revealing much more than he intended. "I _know_ that Arthur, but I still do because it keeps happening over, and over. It keeps happening, I keep hesitating, and I keep losing people."

"Merlin what on earth are you talking about?"

"I could have saved Lancelot, I was going to take your place and I told him so, I _shouldn't_ have told him, because you were lying on the floor knocked out and I was distracted and suddenly he was gone. I could have done something. And Will shouldn't have had to die, it was my fault he was brought into it, I could have done something. It should have been _me_ protecting you but the _idiot…_ " Merlin felt a huge lump in his throat and can't continue, a lucky thing because he might not have been able to stop himself from revealing what had happened with Freya or Balinor. How their deaths were also his fault. His promise to protect her meant nothing, he was the one who put her in danger. His father would never have died if it weren't for Merlin releasing the dragon, and he surely wouldn't have stepped in front of that spear had Merlin not told Balinor that he was his son.

"Merlin, you can't take the world on your shoulder like this." Gwaine sympathized when he couldn't take Merlin's reaction and Arthur was left speechless, mouth hanging open staring at Merlin. "You can't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong."

"Gwaine, _please_ reconsider. _Please,_ let's just go home." Merlin pleaded. He hadn't asked this of Gwaine, knowing from past experiences with Arthur that it was nearly fruitless. He was still planning to take on the immortal Green Knight himself, but the whole conversation had been emotionally taxing, and he lost his grip on his emotions.

"Merlin, I'm sorry" Gwaine whispered. "I have to do this."

Merlin looked down at his lap with glassy eyes. Suddenly he was up on his feet, mumbling something about going to the stream nearby to fill their water skins.

* * *

Once Merlin had left the camp site, Gwaine turned to Arthur, guilt shining in his eyes. Of course Merlin was going to blame himself for Gwaine's death. He knew that Merlin felt guilty over Lancelot, though he could never figure out why. Now Gwaine was running head on to his death, leaving Merlin behind completely helpless–he doubted magic would be able to kill the giant as he had already proven his immortality. Arthur, though he looked equally guilty, was focused on another detail of the conversation.

"I had no idea, _no god damn clue_ that Merlin was that selfless. That he would give his life for me? And it's because of me that both of his best friends are dead. I feel like an absolute fool, and a terrible friend."

"You are a fool." Gwaine said, half responding to Arthur, half responding to his own thoughts.

"Excuse me?" Of course the royal princess was allowed to call himself a fool, but God forbid a lowly knight such as Gwaine agreeing with him.

"Do you not remember the time soon after you met where he drank poison for you? I wasn't even there but people still talk about it as if it were the most dramatic thing they had ever seen. What about the time he followed you to the Perilous Lands? If he hadn't found me, you know he would have followed you alone. Not to mention all the other times that he's followed you into battles with armies, bandits, mercenaries, sorcerers... And I'm not even going to mention when he jumped in front of a Dorocha for you."

"Alright, I get it." Arthur ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "I do remember, I just… I never think of them all in relation to each other. It's… overwhelming. He doesn't have any training, he's not a knight. He shouldn't have to do all the things that he does."

Merlin returned and the subject was dropped. None of the men would willingly bring up the subject for the remainder of the day, instead filling the hours with lighthearted topics and banter.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'm actually kind of proud of this chapter, considering how long it took me to write, it was quite the challenge. My schedule has gotten quite busy, so I'll be updating every other day. Thanks for reading! Hope you like it :)**

* * *

Nothing could have prepared the men for the unnatural set-up that they walked into the next day. Nothing quite made sense when the wolves appeared out of nowhere.

That morning, Gwaine had become less and less certain of their path. It was as if he lost the mystical sense of direction that had been with him the previous day. Suddenly the men were unsure, having no clear path to follow to the Green Chapel. They unsteadily decided to continue their path to the Northern Plains. They journeyed through the last of the forest, approaching the end of the Darkling Woods where the trees would thin and the plains would emerge.

It was late afternoon when they saw the faded outline of a castle ahead of them. The snow had been steadily increasing throughout the day, the wind getting stronger. Morning had been mild, a light snow falling in the bright sun. But by midday, the light had completely disappeared behind the thick grey clouds, the feathery flakes replaced by strong snow falling like bullets from a crossbow. The men and their horses trudged through the thick snowbanks, hunched over against the whistling wind. No one could keep their eyes open for long without falling snow obstructing their vision.

Even had the wind not been howling loudly in his ear and had the snow not been attacking his sight, Arthur would never have noticed the attacker approaching. They made no sound of approaching footsteps, no snapping twigs or crunching snow beneath their feet. Had the men been inclined, they also would not have found any tracks in the snow. It was suddenly and out of nowhere when his horse stumbled and Arthur lost his bearings, nearly falling to the ground. He steadied himself and slid off his horse when it started to outright panic. He grabbed the reins and saw blood dripping from the horse's forearm onto the pure white snow. The perfectly battle trained horse was beyond spooked and injured. It ripped the reins out of Arthur's hands, fleeing the area with such vigor that Arthur nearly lost his balance.

And there before him crouched his horse's attacker only a few yards away. The wolf was low in the snow, barring its teeth at Arthur. Its coat was dark grey, its teeth stained yellow and red. The fur around it's mouth was matted and soaked in his horse's blood, and its eyes almost glowed yellow as if it were a creature of magic.

Gwaine and Merlin dismounted their own horses in a hasty attempt to reach Arthur. Their steeds almost immediately bolted off in the same directed as Arthur's when they were set loose, nearly knocking over their riders in the process.

The wolf hadn't yet attacked Arthur, it just crouched in the snow completely still, in a staring contest.

"Arthur" Merlin said, voice shaking.

"Not now, Merlin!" The king whispered angrily, not taking his eyes of the predator.

"Arthur, the rest of the pack is here."

In his peripheral vision, Arthur saw more wolves approaching from through the trees, each baring their own set of yellow eyes and teeth. The men slowly moved into a back to back formation, leaving a couple feet between them.

"I can see four, three are trained on me and one closer to you, Gwaine." Arthur refused to unlock eyes with what he surmised was the alpha of the pack, knowing that the second he so much as blinked, the wolf would lunge.

"I'd say that makes seven in total, two are trained on me and it looks like two on Merlin." Gwaine replied.

Arthur slowly and steadily moved his hand toward his sword which rested in its sheath. Before he could get his hand on the hilt, the wolf seemed to recognize the move as a threat. His growls amplified and he stalked forward a few steps. Gwaine seemed to be having the same problem behind him, for Arthur couldn't see the knight's raised sword in his peripheral vision.

Arthur's muscles hurt from remaining in his stance for so long, unable to move or even shiver even though his whole body was freezing in the snow. The standoff would have to end, one way or another.

* * *

Merlin knew that they needed a miracle. There was no possible way that three men, only two of which even had weapons, could take on more than half a dozen angry wolves. Merlin knew from glancing at Gwaine that he wasn't able to unsheathe his sword without angering their attackers. There was no way that either men would be able to unsheathe their swords on time, should the wolves decide to pounce.

Merlin suspected sinister magic was involved in the wolves' appearance. They showed up out of nowhere, with absolutely no warning, on top of that, none of them chased the horses which would have been an easy kill. All three of the horses were trained meticulously for the knights and king of Camelot. They were the best steeds in the land, trained to withstand injury, battle, and fear. Yet all three had sped off without hesitation at the first sight of the wolves. There was obviously something going on that the men weren't tuned into.

Merlin had already spent the day obsessing about Arthur's life after the dream that he had and after being accused that he–well, Emrys–had not done his duty, by Arthur himself. He was doubting his ability to keep his secret while keeping his king safe any longer. But if he revealed his magic, who knows what would befall his king should Merlin have to take an unplanned... absence.

After a long standoff, Merlin barely able to contain his shivering, he finally felt it. Maybe it was a shift in the atmosphere, or that he was so alert that he was tuned into hearing even the smallest of breaths, or maybe it was destiny herself intervening, but suddenly he knew that the alpha was about to leap at Arthur's throat behind him. Merlin acted without thinking. He had spent the entire day thinking and yet had resolved nothing. But in that moment, as the Alpha wolf was springing at his best friend, all he knew was that Arthur was about to die, and just like in his dream, he could do something about it.

Merlin whipped around, shouting " _Ástríce!_ " as all logical thought and years of secret keeping had fled from him.

Before Arthur had his sword fully unsheathed, the was flying backwards, slamming against a tree trunk several yards away and falling into the snow at the foot of the tree. Merlin had cast that spell with more power and precision than ever before. At any other time, he would have taken a moment to be proud of his skill.

None of the other wolves followed the leads of their alpha, instead continuing their staring. The alpha who should have died on impact quickly recovered, rising from the ground and shaking himself off before running from the standoff, bringing all of his comrades with him. Within seconds, the wolves were gone, only their howls mixing with the sounds of the wind left behind.

This left the three men standing in the snow, panting. Gwaine had turned to look at Merlin, but Merlin was more interested in staring at Arthur's back. No one wanted to say anything, and Arthur simply didn't turn around for a long moment.

"Magic?" Was all he said when he finally did turn and face Merlin.

Merlin thought that Arthur remained turned away to school his expression, that he was guarding his reaction and his emotions, as the king was so often prone to do, trained in diplomacy since birth. Merlin knew immediately when he saw Arthur's face that if that had been the case, it hadn't worked. He had expected Arthur to be disgusted, furious, murderous even. Instead, in Arthur's face he only saw confusion, sadness, and fear. Arthur almost looked… _vulnerable_.

"Yeah." Was Merlin's short answer to a short question. He didn't want to start apologizing or explaining for fear of the shakes and cracks in his voice.

They stood there a moment. Merlin always thought that should his magic be revealed, Arthur would have a lot to say, whether it be death threats, accusations, or ridiculous questions, but Arthur seemed uninterested in sharing his thoughts.

And with the tense silence still between them, Arthur's eyes suddenly went hard, his expression unreadable. He trained his gaze forward and made his way in the direction of where they had seen the castle, leaving Merlin and Gwaine behind, tense and confused.

* * *

Arthur walked ahead of Merlin and Gwaine, who were walking side by side. Merlin didn't know if Arthur would hear them with the wind and snow whipping around, making it quite some time before he got the nerve to speak.

"Gwaine," He started on his apology but was interrupted immediately.

"Merlin," His companion said sincerely. "You don't need to say anything."

"I need to apologize; you must hate me for not telling you." Merlin pressed.

"I could never hate you, Merlin." Gwaine said. "Though, I am a bit frustrated that you didn't get to tell me yourself. I should also apologize to you because I've been keeping secrets. I probably should have told you that I knew when I first found out."

"I'm sorry?!" Merlin nearly choked in his surprise.

"Mate," Gwaine chuckled. "I've known you have magic since the moment I met you."

"You have?" The guilty sorcerer squeaked. "How did you find out?"

"The real question is how did no one else find out?" Gwaine threw his arms and head back in a sort of bellow at the sky. "I've seen you blatantly use magic in front of everyone! You are the least subtle person I've ever met! I trust my fellow knights with my life, but how you managed to fool everyone in Camelot is quite embarrassing. As for my clever self, I found out your secret the day that we met when you were attacking people with plates and benches at that pub brawl."

"You noticed that?"

"Why do you think I introduced myself in the first place?"

"Besides your addiction to trouble and stacked odds?"

Gwaine let out a hearty laugh at that. "You were being so obvious that, at first, I thought Arthur knew and was keeping your secret from the king. And the way you spoke about him being a good man, not like other nobles… So I didn't mention it, it was only later that I realized you were alone in your secret. I was hoping you would tell me when you were ready, but I've always been a fan of the dramatic so this will do just as well."

Merlin smiled; the whole conversation with Gwaine left Merlin a little lighter hearted than he was before. But he still looked on at Arthur worriedly, trudging through the snow ahead of them.

"He's going to forgive you. He just needs a bit of time to gain perspective."

"What do you mean?" Merlin couldn't see Arthur rationally thinking this predicament through.

"It's something we were talking about earlier. I think he just needs to see you in relation to everything that he knows about you. Put all the little puzzle pieces of Merlin together and look at the picture it makes. The magic piece, and the servant piece, the loyal piece, and the clumsy piece. Then he'll make the connection and feel like an idiot for ever storming off on you."

"Gwaine," Merlin nearly choked out his name, on the verge of tears. "Thank you for saying that. It means more to me than I can ever explain." He waited for the snort and 'Merlin stop being such a girl', but Gwaine had always been more sensitive than Arthur.

"Anything for my best friend."

Merlin sobered up, not wanting to prologue the intensity and emotion of the day. "I suppose since he still hasn't set me on fire yet I might be in the clear. Although it might be because it's hard to make a fire in the snow…" His morbid joke fell flat, even to him.

"Don't be daft, Merlin."

"I don't know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean. The Once and Future King would never kill his Emrys, it would be contradicting the prophecy."

"So you've figured that out too." Merlin sighed.

"I find myself highly underestimated right now and I'm not sure whether to be proud of myself or insulted."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: And I'm back on track for now! I think this story will end up being 10 or 11 chapters with maybe an epilogue. Once again, thanks for all the favorites and follows, they mean a lot to me, and reviews and constructive criticism are appreciated! Enjoy :)**

* * *

Merlin and Gwaine had caught up with Arthur by the time he reached the castle gates. A guard stopped them, demanding to know who they were.

"I am King Arthur of Camelot, and I request an audience with the lord of this estate. I've been on a quest with my companions when we were attacked by a pack of wolves just south of here at the edge of the Darkling Woods, our horses and supplies lost and we need a place to stay safe from the weather."

"Your highness, please come in, I will fetch my Lord immediately."

The three men stepped into the entranceway of the castle, dripping in silence for a few minutes while the guard took off down the hallway. A few minutes later a group of maids appeared with blankets and cloaks to drape around them. When they had been dried off and warmer, a man entered, obviously the lord of the house as he held a proud and powerful stance that Arthur only ever saw on fellow aristocracy. He was a tall and strong looking man, his beard was thick and greying. Arthur did not recognize him, which was unusual because he had been meeting with the lords of his land since he was a young boy.

"I must apologize, I am not familiar with this area nor this estate, have we crossed the border into Mercia?" Arthur was worried, Camelot was on good terms with Mercia, but Bayard was quite defensive, another king entering his territory unannounced even on the most innocent of terms could be construed as threatening.

"Your highness, I am Lord Bertilak of Hautdesert. This estate is small and in undesired territory, not a town or resource for miles. It lives on the border, and has not served under a king for years, due to simple disinterest, instead we have worked independently for many generations, your highness. My wife and I would be honored to host your party. This estate has not hosted such an honorable group for many years, you would do us the greatest favor by staying with us for the night, giving us the chance to learn manners and morals from those most qualified. Please, stay as long as you wish."

"Thank you very much, Lord Bertilak, we will be taking you up on your offer."

"Excellent!" His booming voice echoed through the hall. "Surely you must be hungry, come with me, we are just about to start our meal."

They were led into a modest dining hall, Arthur managing to be civil with the Lord all the while ignoring Gwaine and Merlin who followed silently. The lady of the house was standing at the end of the table in front of her chair. She was almost as beautiful as Guinevere, she had a light and graceful presence about her as one could see even through her stance. She was much younger than the ageing lord.

"This is my lovely wife Seraphina. Sera, this is King Arthur of Camelot, he will be our guest for as long as he desires." She gave them a deep curtsy before sitting in the chair pulled out for her with a charming smile.

"And who are your companions?" The lady asked while they were being seated.

"Of course, how rude of me. This is one of my closest knights, Sir Gwaine." He paused while Gwaine nodded his head, and the next moment was the first time that he looked at Merlin's face since he confirmed his magic out in the woods. "And why don't you introduce yourself, because I sure as hell don't know who you are." He said in a hard, unforgiving voice.

The dining room went silent except for the rustling of servants bringing out food. Arthur realized his mistake, as their hosts were clearly feeling awkward about the tense atmosphere he had just brought into their home.

"My name is Merlin, my lord…" He looked at Lord Bertilak, then he hesitated, not knowing if the next part was still true or not, not that Arthur himself knew. "I'm Arthur's manservant."

"What brings you to the Northern Planes, so far away from Camelot?" The lord said, seeing that he hit some sort of nerve with the servant and needed a quick topic change, and for that Arthur was grateful.

"We are on a quest. We seek the Green Chapel, and we must arrive on New Year's Day, but we have no idea where it could be, and we have found no record of it anywhere, our only lead unfortunately disappeared earlier today."

"Well you certainly have left it to the last moment! Tomorrow is the last day of December, after all. Good thing you're quite close."

"You know of the Green Chapel?" Gwaine asked.

"Yes, it's very close, not even half a day's ride East, not very hard to find."

"Do you know who dwells inside?" Arthur wondered if the lord knew that a malignant giant of a sorcerer lived so close to him.

"I'm sorry, it's been abandoned as long as I can remember."

"Of course, thank you very much for your service to us, especially on such short notice and so close to the holidays, how can we repay you?"

"Oh don't be foolish King Arthur, I ask no payment. Only that you spend the last few days you have before your deadline under my hospitality. I would love to spend more time in such company."

"Very well, it is settled. We will stay for the next two nights, if it so pleases the lord and lady, and come dawn on the first day of the New Year, we will set off for the Green Chapel."

The rest of the night Arthur spent deep in conversation with the Lord talking of politics and current events while Gwaine flirted with the Lady Seraphina, which left Merlin to stare at his food thinking about what he had done, Arthur imagined.

It wasn't until later that night when he had retired to his bed in borrowed night clothes that he really got a chance to think about Merlin. He was seething and furious the whole walk to the castle, really just channeling his anger into trekking through the heavy and cold snow. Now he lay in his bed, completely awake with no distractions.

How could Merlin do this to him? How long had Merlin been practicing magic? Certainly he couldn't have developed those skills that easily. The power behind the wolf's impact would have completely snapped the wolf in two, breaking its spine and killing it instantly in any normal circumstance. Which reminded him… Obviously those were not mortal wolves, but creatures of magic sent to attack the king specifically. But who would send them? Perhaps Morgana, but that didn't make much sense, how would she know they were there? Morgana wasn't one to pull her troupes when they were outnumbered. She would order them to keep fighting until each and every one was dead, with no regard for their lost lives, only the lost battle.

It could have been the Green Knight, knowing that they were approaching but that made no sense either. Why would the knight have set up the whole challenge for Gwaine if he weren't going to honor it, just killing them unceremoniously in the woods?

Would Merlin have fought on their side, anyways? He had obviously attacked the wolf, saving Arthur's life in the process, but to what end? What were Merlin's motivations, and why did he practice magic in the first place?

Arthur's thoughts kept him wide awake nearly the entire night, and even kept in in an restless slumber.

* * *

Gwaine awoke the next morning to his door creaking open quietly and slowly. He kept up the pretense of sleep, hoping to catch the intruder off guard. Small, quiet footsteps approached the bed until finally the person sat on the edge of the bed. Just a little closer and Gwaine would be in a good position to attack, taking the intruder completely off guard.

"You really shouldn't leave your guard down like so, even while sleeping Sir Gwaine." The voice said lightly, no malice or murderous intent behind it as Gwaine had expected from the intruder.

Gwaine jolted up when he heard the voice, opening his eyes and realizing it was Lady Seraphina. She was beautiful, sitting on the edge of his bed, looking down at him with a small smile on her lips. She was clean and delicately dressed, ready for the day. Gwaine was slightly embarrassed for being seen by a lady in a compromising position, being shirtless in bed. Usually this type of circumstance was under his control, the woman also scandalously dressed, but the lady had caught him off guard. Gwaine was usually above his embarrassment and so instead turned on his charming smile.

"What a beautiful sight to see in the morning, my lady."

"You certainly do like that bed, for it is nearly midmorning." She said seductively. "Perhaps I should join you to keep you company."

Gwaine wasn't usually one to turn down such an offer from a beautiful woman, but he wasn't an idiot. Flirting is one thing, but sharing a bed with the wife of a lord who has graciously offered to host you was a disastrous idea.

"What a generous offer, Lady Seraphina."

"Please, call me Sera." She said while slowly sliding the shoulders of her gown off and leaning down towards him.

Before Gwaine could intervene, the door to his chambers burst open. Gwaine's heart nearly flew out of his chest thinking it was Lord Bertilak come to kill him prematurely, but it was only a panicked and disheveled Merlin.

"Gwaine!" He yelled, looking around the chamber before settling his eyes on the bed seeing Gwaine's unclothed torso, his bottom covered by the sheet, and the Lady Seraphina with her dress hanging dangerously low on her chest.

"Yes Merlin?" Gwaine replied as the lady quickly stood, trying to subtly adjust her dress and move away from the bed.

"Oh I'm… sorry to interrupt." He stuttered, but was obviously too panicked to worry about the scene that was about to unfold. "Do you know where Arthur is? I can't find him anywhere and I'm… I'm worried."

"I'm so sorry Merlin, we assumed that Arthur would notify you himself. He went hunting earlier this morning with my husband. They're not expected to be back until late afternoon."

"Oh…" Merlin said, panting. It looked to Gwaine that Merlin had ran the entire castle and surrounding grounds twice over while looking for Arthur. The poor lad still worried about his friend's safety even when the thought was not reciprocated. "Well… thank you then. I was worried he might have gotten lost, or hurt. I'll let you continue your conversation. I'm sorry for interrupting, I think I'll go wait for Arthur to get back then, do you have any servants that need help setting up for dinner or lunch? Perhaps there's something–"

"Merlin." Gwaine interrupted, reaching to his night stand to put on his shirt. Merlin would babble on awkwardly for hours if one didn't interrupt him. Gwaine imagined that it was one of the methods Merlin used for getting away with lying.

"Right. Sorry."

"If you like you can help set up the large dining room, for we should be having quite the Year's End feast tonight. However, you are under no obligation to work for us while staying as a guest in hour home."

"Of course," Merlin said backing up awkwardly. "I–" The boy backed up into an end table beside the door, nearly toppling it and the vase that sat on it, but he managed to right it before it fell. "I'll be going." Merlin said, completely turned around and fled the room awkwardly.

"Well Sir Gwaine, I should also be attending to my duties. I will see you once you're up and ready." And so she followed the servant out of the room.

* * *

Arthur saw the outline of chapel steeple in the distance when they were stationed on a hill for lunch during their hunt.

"Is that the Green Chapel?" He asked.

"Yes it is, we're not far if you would like to go now." The Lord Bertilak replied.

When they arrived, Arthur insisted that he enter alone, and that the hunting party stay outside. Perhaps he wouldn't have to wait for the next day to travel with Gwaine. Maybe he could sacrifice himself to the Green Knight right now, and not have to worry about Merlin or Gwaine getting in the way. And that way, he wouldn't have to face Merlin before he died.

He approached the doors, the chapel truly did look abandoned. It took some shoving and shaking before he could get the frozen door open. When he did, it swung open with a loud creak. Inside was not what he expected of a chapel, but perhaps what he did expect of a hideout belonging to a sorcerer. The room was dark, lit only by the daylight coming in through the large windows. What might have been stained glass windows once, were now gaping holes, letting snow pile up underneath them. All the pews and décor were either missing or rotten through. He heard the scuttling of some small woodland creature taking up shelter in what looked to be a pile of filthy rags, what might have been tapestries. The stone altar remained unmoved, however there were large chunks of it missing or broken off. The place had been robbed of any sort of religious icons, crosses, candles, silver, and other expensive luxuries. Arthur walked through the small chapel, realizing that no one was there. The Green Knight either would not show himself until the next day, or perhaps they had come to the wrong spot.

Arthur returned to the hunting party disheartened, but also relieved that he didn't need to die that day.

"Did you find what you were looking for? Have you completed your quest?" Lord Bertilak asked.

"No not yet, it looks like the quest is going to have to be completed tomorrow."

"Very well, shall we return to the hunt?"

"Yes of courses, let's go."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: A short and late chapter, sorry for anyone following! I figured I should at least post _something_ , even if it wasn't much. School is already kicking my ass. Enjoy!**

 **Thanks for the review and advice Linorien! I knew there was something off, I'll definitely try to integrate your advice into my writing :)**

* * *

While Arthur and Lord Bertilak were out hunting for the day, Gwaine spent the afternoon touring the grounds and flirting with the Lady Seraphina. Merlin attempted to make himself useful by helping the servants prepare for the evening's feast. Despite having intense training and years of experience being the king's servant, Merlin felt like it was his first day all over again. He was little help, as he was not familiar with the dining room. He was always lost in thought, tripping and fumbling over everything he touched.

"Mind yourself, Merlin!" The head cook would say, as Merlin nearly toppled stacks of plates or fumbled with a handful of goblets.

While it wasn't as grand or fanciful as that of Camelot's feasts, it was elegant and delicious. The smaller dining room made for a more intimate setting. Though Merlin was offered a seat at the table earlier that day by Lady Seraphina, he couldn't stand to be involved–or rather, _not_ involved–in the dinner conversation. It was best that he chose instead to take a serving position behind Arthur and Gwaine, refilling their goblets whenever needed. No need to draw any more attention to himself, not until he could speak with Arthur privately.

The lady had retired after the food was finished, most of the servants dismissed early on in the night as well. By the end of the feast Merlin was sore all over from standing for so long, and exhausted from the stress of the day.

"I should be leaving as well," Gwaine stood from his seat and bowed to the king and the lord. "If I'm to have an early morning I should have an early night." The men bid him goodnight, but he instead made his way to where Merlin was staring at the ground lost in thought. "Make sure to get some rest, mate." This brought Merlin's attention to Gwaine, and he tried his best to return with a reassuring smile but knew that it didn't convince Gwaine. He felt guilt rise up while he watched Gwaine leave the room. He should be the one consoling Gwaine, not the other way around. Gwaine must have been worried sick all day, though he barely showed it.

Though it seemed he was no longer needed, Merlin waited patiently behind Arthur for a very long time while the two nobles talked well into the night. After discussing discussing nearly every detail of their hunt that day, the gossip behind every nearby estate, and the affairs of the nobles in Camelot, Arthur finally decided to retire, bidding Lord Bertilak a good night while Merlin trailed after him.

* * *

Gwaine was undressing in his chambers after he had retired from the feast. All day he had the same thoughts running through his mind.

That was the last time Merlin would stumble into his chambers in the morning, that was the last time he would flirt with a pretty lady, that was the last feast he would have, that was the last drink he would ever have, that was the last time Merlin would spill a bit of wine onto the table cloth while filling his goblet, and that night would be the last night he would ever sleep. When he awoke the next day, he would be preparing for his death.

It hadn't bothered him much, for he had been having similar thoughts since the day his fate was decided. His last first day of spring, last summer, last battle, last training session with his brothers. After a year of almost too much time to think, Gwaine had come to terms with his situation. He began cherishing his lasts instead of resenting them.

"Retiring early, are we?" Gwaine was pulled out of his thoughts to see Lady Seraphina standing at his door, appraising him as he stood in his underclothing in the middle of the room.

"Hardly, Lady Sera, one can still have a lot of fun while stripped down to his underclothing." He retorted, enjoying it when he saw the blush run to her cheeks.

She strode towards him, linked her hands behind his neck and leaned in close and whispered into his ear. "Only if one has a partner to help them with the fun."

Gwaine hesitated, looking down and avoiding her gaze. Once again he was plagued by the thought of how unwise it was to share a bed with a married woman, especially in their situation. Although, he supposed that he was already on death row, it wouldn't matter much if her husband caught them and decided to have him killed. However, that wouldn't ensure the safety of Lady Sera, for she could be punished just as equally as him should they be caught. Even so, he refused to tarnish his good name with a dishonorable act on his last night.

She sensed his reluctance, resting a small and finely manicured hand against his cheek. "Come, Gwaine. You would refuse a lady like me on the last night of your life?"

Gwaine looked up sharply at her, he was certain that they hadn't told their hosts the manner of the quest.

"Please, Sir Gwaine," She said almost condescendingly, as if she were insulted to be considered so naive. "I have lived here a long time; I have spoken with many people who have lived here. I understand what it means when a man says he must find the Green Chapel to complete a quest."

"You know of the Green Knight?"

"I do, and I know that tomorrow you will seek him out, and you willingly go to your death to protect your pride. I know that this is your last night alive, and what a better way to spend it than with me?" She leaned into his neck, kissing up his jawline passionately. Gwaine let it go on for perhaps too long as she smoothed her hand over his bare chest.

"Stop." He said as her lips approached his, and she did, pulling back to look up at him, examining his face.

"Are you denying the wishes of a lady, Sir Gwaine?" She teased. "Is it not in the knight's code to provide chivalry to ladies?"

"Yes but–"

"Then it would be breaking the knight's code to deny my advances, would it not? To leave me embarrassed and rejected?"

"No it would not, my lady." Gwaine returned softly, trying to put some space between them. "For it would also be breaking the knights code to commit adultery with another's wife."

She looked long and hard into Gwaine's eyes as if she were searching for something, though Gwaine had no idea what for. All her thoughts of sensuality seemed have disappeared as her narrowed eyes gazed into Gwaine's.

"Sir Gwaine of Camelot," She said as thought she had finally found what she was looking for and was pleasantly surprised. "You have proven yourself to be more noble than any man I've met before."

"Go to sleep, Lady Sera." Gwaine kissed her on the cheek and backed away from their embrace until they were no longer touching. "I will see you in the morning."

She gave him an innocent and almost proud smile, unlike the flirtatious and sultry smiles that they had been exchanging since the moment they met. She backed out of the room slowly, pausing only in the doorway to gaze upon Gwaine once more before disappearing completely.\

His last chance to share a bed with a woman, but also his first time refusing to share a bed with a woman.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Sorry for not posting promptly again, but here's an extra long chapter as an apology! Thanks for the reviews/favourites/follows! It always means so much and keeps me writing :) Enjoy!**

* * *

"Say something, please." Merlin followed Arthur down the abandoned halls after he finally left the conversation with the lord and decided to retire to his room. The halls were dark, lit only by the candles on the walls and the small squares of moonlight pooling through the cracks in the stormy clouds and into the castle windows. "You have to speak to me eventually."

"I have nothing to say to you." Arthur said sharply without looking back at the servant who was struggling to keep up with the king's pace. Merlin paused their conversation when they passed Lady Seraphina walking towards them through the halls, wearing the same gown that she had worn to the feast earlier that evening. Merlin noted that she obviously hadn't gone to bed.

"My lady, I didn't expect to see you around our guest chambers so late in the night, I had thought you went to bed." Arthur stopped her, making polite conversation.

"Well yes I did, but I noticed it was a particularly cooler night and I wanted to be sure that you and your knight had proper bedding to keep you warm. I laid out some extra quilts for you."

"How generous, we are so grateful for your hospitality." Arthur bowed his head to her.

Lady Seraphina curtsied deeply to Arthur. "I must be getting to bed now, but I shall bid you good luck in the event that I don't see you leave tomorrow." She paused then, making pointed eye contact with both men before smiling and continuing down the hall.

Merlin realized that they had actually passed Arthur's chambers and were heading down the hall that led to Gwaine's room.

"Why are we visiting Gwaine so late?" Merlin asked, hoping Arthur wouldn't continue ignoring him. "You don't think he and the lady were…"

"You really didn't stop to realize that Gwaine will most likely sneak off in the middle of the night to complete the quest alone?" Arthur spun around in his tracks to glare at Merlin. The poor servant nearly tripped himself in his attempt not to bump into an angry Arthur. Merlin looked at Arthur and noticed that he was tense and even distracted from the shadows spilled across his face. "I can't leave him tonight or else he'll sneak off to the Green Chapel and get himself killed before–" Arthur bit his lip, cutting himself off abruptly and tried to turn back around.

Merlin grabbed his forearm in an attempt to stop him. This only made Arthur furious. He did stop, but he looked at Merlin's hand as if he noticed something particularly revolting on the sleeve of his arm. Merlin quickly let go, not failing to note the disgust in his friend's eyes.

"Before what? Before you take his place and sacrifice yourself?" Merlin pressed, unsurprisingly he knew that Arthur was thinking exactly that. Arthur refused to comment, instead glared at Merlin, nostrils flaring. "Haven't we been through this a thousand times already? You can't go sacrificing yourself for your knights, Camelot needs you!"

Before he had the chance to continue, he was once again chasing after Arthur who had continued his brisk march to Gwaine's. Somehow his steps seemed even faster and harder than they were before. "I should have known better. That's why you went on and on about this being a test for you, but Arthur, I can promise you that this isn't your test, this isn't your fight!"

"Stay out of this, Merlin!" Arthur shoved the doors to Gwaine's room open and strode through without knocking, intending to ignore Merlin at his back. Gwaine was standing in his night clothing while laying out his armor for the next day. He hardly looked up when the thick doors slammed open against the stone walls, he probably could have heard them coming from down the hall and anticipated their entrance.

"I will not stay out of this!" Merlin bellowed, once again forcing Arthur to whirl and face him in the middle of the room. "This isn't your test! Everyone knows you're the Once and Future King! There was never any doubt!"

"And how would you know this Merlin?" He bellowed, pointing an accusing finger in Merlin's face.

"Because the test was obviously meant for me and I'm the one who failed, you even said so yourself! But tomorrow morning I will kill the Green Knight or die in your place. Because it's my destiny to do so! And if I fail this test a second time then who knows what that will mean for Albion!" Arthur's anger seemed to have fueled Merlin's, the boy's jaw was clenched hard, his eyes watery and red from frustration.

Merlin had realized his mistake when he saw Arthur's expression morph from anger, to confusion, to panic, and then back again to anger. "Emrys–, you–" Arthur stuttered, struggling to put this new information together. "You're bloody Emrys!?"

Merlin sighed, partly a sigh of weariness and partly of exasperation. He assumed that Arthur would have already made that leap himself, figured it out by now given all the information that had been clearly presented before him.

Gwaine interrupted before the conversation could get any more heated than it already was. "Not to be rude but why are you two bickering in my room at this hour?"

Arthur opened his mouth as if he were going to say something to Merlin, but seemed to reconsider. Merlin felt quite guilty as he watched Arthur tiredly rub his hands across his face and return his gaze to Merlin's. All at once Merlin recognized that he wasn't the only one haunted by recent events. Arthur's eyes were slightly swollen and bloodshot, the bags underneath them like small bruises. His face lacked any real color and his hair was mussed and unclean. Arthur's face alone showed a physical and emotional exhaustion that Merlin rarely saw from him. Merlin decided to give him a break, a moment to think and breathe, so he turned to Gwaine.

"We're making sure you don't run off and get your head chopped off in the middle of the night." He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows like a suspicious mother as he said it.

"Well, as you can see I'm here in my jammies. Not planning on running out into the snow to get myself killed right now. You two should go get some rest." Gwaine himself was headed to his bed, taking a leap and landing on his back, fingers linked behind his head looking up at Merlin.

"It doesn't take long to get dressed, saddle a horse, and ride off into the dark." Merlin realized that clearly Arthur was right, Gwaine wanted them gone too bad for him to be innocent.

"So what, you're going to stay here all night and monitor me? You're going to babysit me?" Gwaine sat up on his bed abruptly when he realized what was in store for the rest of the night.

"That's exactly what we're going to do." Arthur finally joined the conversation after collecting himself. He still looked completely worn to Merlin but he didn't look as passionately angry as he did before.

The boys all went silent. Gwaine had sat up on the end of his bed leaning against one of the bedposts. Merlin sat on a chair on the desk beside the bed, and Arthur was across the room seated at the small dining table. And there they waited, for what seemed like hours. Gwaine eventually pulled out a bottle of wine without moving–from where, Merlin had no idea–and started drinking it. It felt like they were sitting in silence for hours.

And hours it was. Well past midnight and on into the extremely early morning, the men refused to succumb to sleep, each keeping their own watch on the others. No one trusted each other not to sneak out and get himself killed should their guard fall.

Merlin knew he could just use a sleeping spell on Gwaine and Arthur and sneak out by himself, but couldn't bring himself to do it. Things were already so unbalanced with Arthur, using magic against him could tip the scales, leaving Arthur feeling completely betrayed. Merlin in good conscience couldn't use magic against them. He resolved to instead to use his magic against the Green Knight before Gwaine–or Arthur–was put in any danger.

It was then, in the earliest hours of the morning, still well before dawn that someone finally spoke up, out of sheer curiosity and boredom more than anything.

"Merlin," It took a moment for everyone to shake themselves awake and out of their thoughts when Gwaine spoke up. "Why was your father banished from Camelot?" Both men were stunned silent in confusion for a few moments, their minds fully awake and alert.

"Merlin's father wasn't banished, he told me that you never met him." Arthur started cautiously, he obviously didn't want to assume that he'd fallen another lie from his manservant.

"So the king doesn't know, that almost confirms my suspicions."

"Gwaine, what are you talking about?" Merlin said, looking worriedly between Gwaine and Arthur.

"You once told me that your father was banished, that you only knew him for a short time before he died. I was just wondering why he was banished, all you said was that the king turned on him."

"Yes I remember but why in God's name, after all these years, are you only asking me now." Gwaine knew about the magic but there was no possible way that he could know about the dragon, so why was he bringing this up now?

"I've always suspected sorcery, for obvious reasons, but I wasn't going to mention it. But now that you know that I know about the magic, I thought I'd ask."

"Yet again, I seem to be behind in my manservant's personal life."

"Gwaine," Merlin ignored Arthur's half-hearted attempt at starting another argument. He didn't really know how to continue. There was so much to tell, and he had to be careful because Arthur was listening intently and he still hadn't even been forgiven for having magic. There was no telling what could set Arthur off. But then again, perhaps full disclosure from now on was best, maybe it was the only way to win his trust back. "He was banished because he was a dragonlord, which is considered a form of magic."

Arthur's head snapped straight to Merlin, not believing what he was hearing.

"Uther had all the dragons and their dragonlords killed in the Great Purge, but my father escaped and he was hunted out of Camelot and had to leave my mother. He didn't even know I existed."

"Balinor." Arthur whispered softly, finally starting to catch on to Merlin's life. His brows were pulled together in the middle looking sadly across the room, his first moment of softness directed at Merlin since the pivotal moment in the woods.

"That is not at all what I was expecting, who is Balinor?"

This time Arthur told the story, remembering it well enough. "Balinor was the last dragonlord. When the Great Dragon escaped and attacked Camelot a few years ago, Merlin and I ventured out to find him. He was living in a cave because of my father. Yet he agreed to help us take the dragon down. We were attacked on the way back a few days later, and… Balinor was injured and died." Arthur turned from Gwaine's horror struck face to Merlin's worried face. Merlin couldn't make eye contact, his gaze darting around the room to avoid meeting Arthurs, his Adams apple bobbing as he swallowed heavily. "You knew he was your father, and yet you didn't say anything. Just another God damn lie." Arthur continued, his voice hardening as he was faced with another lie.

"Arthur he had magic; he was a dragonlord." Merlin's pleading gaze was finally able to meet Arthur's. "If I said anything, it would be your duty to report it to Uther. My father would have been dead the moment the dragon was defeated, and I would follow soon after once I inherited his abilities."

"So you inherited the magic? I didn't know it worked that way." Gwaine was focusing on very different things than Arthur was, making leaps and connections where Arthur didn't which confused Merlin as the conversation took dramatic turns.

"No I inherited the dragonlord abilities, it's passed down from father to son upon the father's death." Merlin's voice shook, "I was born with the magical abilities."

"Wait so baby Merlin could throw things with his mind? Could baby Merlin turn water into wine?"

Merlin wasn't going to dignify Gwaine's question with a response.

"So you've been lying to me all this time. Since the very moment I met you, you have been feeding me lies. You have been let into my innermost circle, I trusted you with my life, with the life of my brothers and my wife, and you have completely betrayed me." It seemed to Merlin that Arthur didn't _want_ to understand. He didn't want to try and mend things yet, he just wanted to sulk, and condemn, and marinate in his anger.

"Arthur listen," Gwaine cut in before it could get more heated. "Remember what you said a few nights ago?"

"I don't care Gwaine." Arthur said quite childishly.

"We were talking about all those times that Merlin has risked his life for yours. Remember?"

"Of course I do Gwaine, now I know they're all lies."

"Are you really mad about the magic? I had come to think that you didn't really care so much about magic as your father. Or are you mad about the lying?"

Merlin watched as Arthur scrunched up his nose, trying to come up with a response.

"Arthur, that night you said something about thinking of all those events in relation to each other. That you never pulled them all together and thought of them as a whole. You never thought of Merlin as loyal and selfless because you never thought of all these events when thinking of him."

"Where are you going with this."

"All you're thinking of is Merlin the liar. Think of Merlin the Liar in relation to Merlin the Magician, but also Merlin the Clumsy that once tripped on a curtain and brought down a hallway full of tapestries, and Merlin the Selfless who risks his life to save yours on so many occasions despite the possibility of execution for who he is, and Merlin the Annoying who wakes you up every single morning with a bellowing voice, and Merlin the Sage who gives you advice and council when you most need it, who knows exactly what to say to you, and Merlin the Loyal, who despite having an ability that could get him killed by the king, still chooses to stay best friends with him for years."

Arthur wiped his face with his hand, pressing the tips of his fingers against his shut eyelids. "Shut up, Gwaine. I need to think and I can't do that with you chattering on."

Arthur's lack of a heated response seemed like a breakthrough. Merlin was crying quietly in the corner, Gwaine finally might have gotten through to Arthur, made him see a Merlin beyond the lies. Something about Gwaine's words simply got to him once again. Yes, he was the clumsy idiot that Arthur knew him as, but he was also the wise and powerful man he had come to know himself. Even he sometimes had difficulty connecting the two, he was growing and changing with such rapidity.

* * *

The boys continued their silent vigil, but Gwaine knew that Merlin was out of the woods, that no matter what happened now, Arthur would forgive inevitably him. It was shocking actually to see the change in Arthur, to see him contemplating, after what he had said. Gwaine was quite proud of his own words.

It wouldn't be long now until the sun was up and the harsh cold slowly ebbed away through the day. Now all he needed was a distraction. He needed to get them arguing, crying, hugging, anything that would distract them long enough to allow him a head start. He started pacing the room, attempting to look natural, as if he were trying to keep himself awake, which honestly he was.

"What are you going to do with Merlin once you get back to Camelot?" He tried asking. "If I'm not going to be returning, I'd like to know that my best friend is in safe hands."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Gwaine. Magic is illegal in Camelot, therefore if he returns with me then he will face trial in front of the council and they can decide what his punishment will be."

This set Merlin off suddenly. "What? You're still going to execute me after all that I've done, after reading those prophecies? You know I'm not evil Arthur, now you're just being a jerk!"

Gwaine set the ball rolling, and now that the boys were in a heated discussion, one that he now knew they would overcome. Arthur's words were weak and insincere; he was grasping at straws to argue with Merlin. Gwaine paced closer to the door, eventually slipping out of it with only a small creak drowned out by the sarcastic argument.

After tip toeing as far as he felt necessary, Gwaine broke into an all out sprint for the stables. The Green Knight had started this war with Gwaine alone, and Gwaine intended to finish it with dignity. He didn't need Merlin getting himself killed while attacking an immortal sorcerer, and he didn't need Arthur trying to take his place, leaving Camelot without a king.

No, those two would work it out, Gwaine knew. They would go home, maybe mourn him a little. Arthur would accept Merlin's magic. They would move on, and eventually they would build a beautiful kingdom together. Just like the prophecies said. Gwaine was happy to be a character in their story, a sacrifice that must be made for the creation of Albion.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm so sorry if anyone was invested in this story! I really thought I could finish it before school started, but I didn't and then it became almost impossible to do any writing during school. I'm on Christmas break now and I've finished this chapter, and written the epilogue which comes next, I just have to edit it and then I'll post it. Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"I'm just being realistic," Arthur continued, refusing to lose his ground in the heated discussion. "Even if you were to come back to Camelot, there's no way that you could keep the magic a secret for much longer. Gwaine found out, and now so have I, the rest of Camelot is bound to find out soon."

"Why does that have to be such a bad thing? Now that you know, why does it matter?"

"Merlin, maybe you haven't realized this yet, but magic is illegal! If word gets out that the king's servant has magic, you will have to go to trial."

"You have no idea just how well I know these laws, Arthur!" The argument had taken a turn for the worse as Merlin's expression went from upset to nearly manic, his eyes wide with anger. Neither of the two had meant for the conversation to keep rising in heat, and now that it had, neither knew how to stop it. The sorcerer was nearly snarling, and Arthur wondered if the situation would escalate to violence and he would have to fight against magic. "As if I didn't spend all these years in Camelot terrified of being caught for something I never had a choice in! As if I don't have frequent nightmares of burning at the stake and all of my friends turning against me! You really have the audacity to accuse me of being ignorant of a law that is constantly weighing on my mind?"

With Merlin's words, Arthur had realized he made an err in judgement. "No one was forcing you to lie to me, Merlin." He half-heartedly attempted to counter, but didn't quite know how. Merlin had never looked so passionately angry before.

"Gwaine is right," Merlin's anger appeared to suddenly deflate, in it's place appeared to be disappointment. "You don't care about the magic at all, do you? You only really care that I lied to you?"

"Of course I care about the lies!" It was Arthur's turn to be angry. "Imagine one day you find out that your best friend has been lying to you for years! Lying about who and what he is, and now you're worried that you don't know him at all!"

"Best friend?" Merlin's hard glare softened, voice becoming small and shaking.

Arthur didn't initially understand why Merlin focused on such a small detail of his rant. Then it dawned on him that he had never actually told Merlin that he considered the servant his closest friend. He always assumed Merlin knew and understood, never occurring to him that Merlin may not have known.

"Of course you're my best friend, Merlin." Arthur said softly, realizing that he still used the present tense and wondered what that meant.

It was like a dark presence had been removed from Merlin's soul, right before Arthur's eyes. Arthur had noticed Merlin's sadness over the years, watched as his smiled dimmed, his shoulders sagged, and his eyes darkened with each passing day. He never could figure out what could have plagued the servant's personality. However, at that very moment, Arthur saw a glimpse of a Merlin he hadn't seen in many years. The servant stood before him with a blinding smile and tears coming from his eyes. It was as if a weight had been lifted from the boy's shoulders and in that moment, Arthur finally realized that he meant as much to Merlin, as Merlin meant to him.

With this sudden transition came a streak of sunlight through one of the windows, which hit the side of Merlin's face illuminating his shaky smile and reflecting on the teardrops on his cheeks. In this observation, Arthur was washed with dread as he realized it was the sun hitting Merlin's face. The night was over and it was a new day. He frantically spun his gaze around the room searching, but Gwaine had disappeared.

* * *

Gwaine's horse stomped through the snow on the path to the Green Chapel. Now that it was time to meet with his destiny, the magic sense of direction had returned and Gwaine was certain he was heading in the right direction despite having little explanation of where it was. This certainty was confirmed when he saw the steeple of the chapel ahead above the trees, glinting in the winter sunlight. Though the sun was bright and shining, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, the biting winter wind was relentless, causing settled snow to stir up in the air and Gwaine's hair to whip itself around. It was frigid.

Gwaine slowly approached the chapel, his horse struggling against the heavy wind. He dismounted his horse in front of the building and tied its reins to a nearby tree. Arthur and Merlin would be sure to return it when they arrived. On that thought, he knew he was running out of time as the sun had risen quite some time ago, and surely Merlin and Arthur wouldn't have argued well into the morning and noticed his disappearance by now.

Green axe in hand, Gwaine opened the heavy door to the chapel and stepped inside. What he saw before him was not what he imagined at all, it was rather spectacular. The room was beautiful and lit like a kaleidoscope. The sunlight speared through the coloured stained glass windows along one wall, spreading beautiful gem tones on everything that it touched. The pews were ornately decorated and hand carved and crafted. Beautiful silver sconces and tapestries decorated the walls and matching chandeliers hung from the scaffolding above. He made his way down the aisle towards the front of the room on a thick red carpet where he could see the Green Knight waiting in front of the altar on the raised platform.

"I'm pleased you have followed through with the terms of our agreement, Knight of Camelot. It's always harder when one breaks their vow." He said mysteriously.

Gwaine swallowed hard and heaved the giant axe to the feet below it's owner, landing on the carpet with a thud.

"Kneel before me," his executioner said, lifting his heavy weapon effortlessly. Gwaine ascended the steps of the platform to the altar and knelt down with his side to the knight as to give him a proper angle to behead. "Upon our terms, you shall receive the same blow which you struck upon me one year ago."

The nape of Gwaine's neck started sweating and he felt a small trickle of sweat drip down his spine. He couldn't help but think that this was finally it. After a year of worrying and raging, he could finally get through it, it was almost a relief. He suddenly felt a similar trickle down his cheeks and realized that he was crying. _Well_ , he thought to himself, _I guess there's a first time for everything_. But no one was there to appreciate his cockiness. He would die alone, and once again he was scared.

The knight raised the axe above his head, pausing only for a moment before swinging it down. Gwaine's eyes were tightly closed and he couldn't help but let out a small yelp and flinch when the axe began its descent. Only Gwaine did not feel anything, instead he saw and heard the axe embed itself into the floor in front of him. For a moment he imaged that the giant knight chose to be merciful.

"I did not flinch when you swung at me in Arthur's court, Sir Gwaine." The knight said.

Gwaine breathed a shaky breath in, and retorted with a sharp "Fine then, I won't flinch this time, asshole." He couldn't help but let out his curse at the end. No, it was not dignified, but since when was dignity in Gwaine's nature.

The knight raised his axe once more.

* * *

"He can't have gone far," Arthur said desperately. "Besides, I know exactly where it is. Bertilak showed me on our hunting trip yesterday."

They were racing through the snow atop their horses. The wind whipped at Merlin's face and he was sure that his cheeks, nose, and ears were scarlet from the cold. Merlin tried not to notice the fact that Arthur planned to die yesterday. Usually he would be hunting with Arthur and the Lord, but because he revealed his secret, Arthur no longer wanted his company. If he had been killed in Gwaine's place yesterday, Merlin wouldn't have been there to protect him and it would be his fault.

Merlin finally saw the steeple of the church in the distance, and he couldn't help the tears that were building up in his eyes. The drops slowly made their way down his face, leaving hot trails in their path. Gwaine could have been gone for a long time while his two friends were arguing with each other. Gwaine could be dead by now. Merlin's gut starting twisting and he wanted to dismount his horse, kneel in the snow and wretch, but there was no time.

Neither Merlin nor Arthur wasted a moment as they practically catapulted themselves off of their moving horses at the chapel's entrance. Arthur burst through the door first, Merlin right behind him. Arthur seemed to have been frozen in shock as they saw the axe swing down at Gwaine's exposed neck. Merlin ran forward, knowing it was too late and hurled a spell at the giant but it didn't reach them in time, and instead fizzled out as it hit a defensive barrier that the knight must have put up.

Merlin screamed as Gwaine's body fell to the floor and was obstructed by the pews in front of them. Merlin attempted to run forward but was restrained by Arthur until the Green Knight slowly backed away from where Gwaine's body rested and showed no sign of attack. They then sprinted down the aisle and what awaited them was the oddest sight. Gwaine was pushing himself back into a kneeling position, head still intact.

Seeing that Gwaine was okay, Merlin climbed the steps and put himself in between his friend and the potential threat, wondering if he missed or would take another swing. Gwaine slowly got to his feet. Merlin turned away from the knight who continued in his non-threatening position to see if Gwaine was truly okay. Gwaine looked confused and disoriented, wiping at the back of his neck where the axe had struck. The axe, despite the brute force with which it was swung, seemed to have only nicked him and barely drew blood.

"I commend your bravery, Sir Gwaine." The looming giant finally said.

"I don't understand," Gwaine said, though he spoke for everyone else. "Why did you only scratch me? I thought the deal was decapitation."

"I merely scratched you because the three of you have proven yourselves to me. King Arthur, Sir Gwaine, and Sorcerer Emrys, you have been tested by the Gods themselves, and they have deemed you worthy of your titles."

"The test was for all three of us?" Arthur asked.

"Indeed, King Arthur. Did I not say that I would be testing you, your knights, your queen, your people, and your sorcerer?"

Arthur and Gwaine seemed to go through a series of reactions, from confusion, to understanding, to anger, and circling back to confusion again. Merlin, however, was used to confusing magical tests and destinies, and was just trying to come to terms with the fact that they had been deemed successful.

"Sir Gwaine was tested on his devotion to the knight's code and by extension his devotion to his king and country." The Green Knight continued, "He proved himself honourable by following through with our deal, proved himself brave when he did not flinch at death, and demonstrated chivalry when he refused to bed another man's wife despite her advances."

"You know about that?" Gwaine's face went red, but the knight continued without responding.

"Sorcerer Emrys was tested on his loyalty to his king, but also his ability to move forward his destiny. He initially strayed from his path, valuing his secret more than a potential threat to his king and citizens. However, he redeemed himself by putting his king's life above his own when he revealed his magic to save the kings from the wolves I sent. He was able to move his destiny forward and therefore passed the test."

"I didn't fail my destiny?" Merlin was confused and crying, his voice shaking like an innocent child's.

"No, young warlock you haven't failed. There is much ahead for you and your destiny, but the road which was once cloudy is now clear."

Merlin felt his knees shake and almost fell to the ground. He never had anyone confirm for sure that he was going to be successful. The dragon always spouted destiny as if it were either inevitable or as if the smallest of Merlin's actions could upset it completely and Gaius had only encouragement. To hear that he had done something right nearly broke him down with relief.

"And finally you, King Arthur. You were tested to determine how fair and just you are, to determine if you are worthy of the title of Once and Future King. You have attempted to give your life for that of a knight and treated him as an equal. You have accepted your sorcerer and given him forgiveness, showing a great deal of compassion. You will indeed build the New World of which the prophets speak."

Merlin turned to Arthur and gave him a proud, teary eyed smile only to see that Arthur looked as overwhelmed as Merlin was.

"Thank you," Arthur returned softly. "For sparing the life of my best friends. But what about my queen and my people? You said they were also tested, but how?"

"Your queen was tested on her ability to rule in your absence," The knight said, but Merlin was paying attention to Arthur as his face beamed with pride thinking about Gwen being the queen that Camelot needed. "and your people were tested on their loyalty to you and their moral character. How, you will only learn upon your return home."


	11. Epilogue

**A/N: And we're done! First fanfiction complete! Thank you to everyone who favourited/reviewed/followed, I know I nearly abandoned this story but it really does mean a lot to me! I left a bit of the story open, in case I want to write a sequel. I definitely have an idea in mind for a sequel but it might be tough because it would be coming more from my own imagination and not piggybacking on an existing story like this one was. If anyone has any thoughts on my sequel/no sequel debate, let me know :)**

* * *

Upon returning to the estate, Arthur insisted they thank Lord Bertilak and Lady Seraphina for hosting them. The three men searched the entire castle, but it seemed to be completely deserted, as if everyone who lived there left very suddenly. No one was able to find the lord or lady, nor saw any servants or other workers in the castle at all.

"Arthur," Merlin said hesitantly when they met back up in the front hallway. "I don't think the lord and lady ever existed. I think they were a creation of the Green Knight, just like the wolves were, as a part of the test."

"Yes, I'm starting to see this too." Arthur sighed, then decided they should pack up food and supplies from the castle, and continue using the three horses that they borrowed after theirs fled. When they arrived back at the stables to saddle up and leave, they noticed their three original horses from Camelot were tied up inside and kept fed and groomed, where they were not present earlier. They assumed the horses were returned to them through means of magic by the Green Knight after they fled in the woods from the wolves.

Their journey back to Camelot was much less eventful, and much quieter than their journey away. Each of the men were lost in their own thoughts, and conversation was reserved for discussing routes and setting up camp exclusively.

On the last night they had to camp before reaching home, they sat around a fire and ate the last of their dinner rations.

Merlin was constantly torn between worrying and relief. With each of Arthur's movements he expected a swipe of a sword, and with each of Arthur's breaths he expected to be told that this is where the road ended and he would not be returning to Camelot. Then he would reassure himself with the Green Knight's words, that he had been successful in continuing his destiny with the revelation of his magic, and Arthur would accept him and potentially other magic users in the future. They he would remember that it wasn't as if Arthur had said or discussed anything and Merlin would return to worrying.

Merlin was both beyond grateful and beyond terrified when Gwaine finally decided to break the icy layer that had grown between the three men.

"So Merlin," The knight looked around almost mischievously and lowered his voice. "What exactly can you do with your magic?"

Merlin momentarily panicked, he wanted nothing more than to show off to Gwaine and Arthur, to prove he had the strength to defend Camelot just as the knights did. But he looked warily to Arthur, he didn't want to sacrifice any progress they had made. Although, it's not like he had much left to lose, and this could be his only opportunity to show the good side of magic. With that thought, he began incanting without obtaining Arthur's permission.

He didn't want to create any spectacular audio or visual presentation, no flying objects, no control of the elements or any other wild and impressive display for his first intentional use of magic with Arthur's awareness. He wanted to do something subtler and something more meaningful, that demonstrated the very essence of his magic itself. He incanted a spell that he hadn't really known was inside of him and the clearing in which they were camped felt like a different place entirely. The clearing was originally a cold and dark patch of dead grass covered in heaps of snow, nothing notable or spectacular at all. But with his incantation, the air became crisp and clean like a breath of fresh peppermint, the stars and the moon seemed to shin brighter through the clouds. The clouds themselves no longer seemed brooding and dark, but mystical and ethereal. It was as if Merlin had charged the atmosphere and the essence of the clearing without actually changing its appearance. Merlin knew that Gwaine and Arthur could feel the change in atmosphere when they gasped in surprise. It was like experiencing something for the first time, when everything is new, and fresh, and exciting, even though it was a clearing they had camped in many times before. The clearing transformed from something mundane to something that poets would write about.

A soft "wow" was all that Gwaine could say.

"I've never seen magic used like that," Arthur said with wonder in his eyes. "that was… something else entirely." Arthur looked to Merlin with wide eyed wonder and optimism and Merlin knew that he had made the right decision in avoiding fanfare. That being said, fanfare cannot always be avoided.

"That's all swell and good, but can you turn my water into wine?" Gwaine teased with a mischievous smile and a raised eyebrow.


End file.
